At the sky

This is a story that I heard from a senior soldier while I was in the military.

When that soldier was just a plain citizen, he used to know a really nice girl.

But suddenly one day, she started to have nightmares.

When she was sleeping, she could see a female that could only be considered a ghost who was crawling slowly down from the ceiling right down next to her.

It was too realistic to just be a dream.

As if she was stuck in sleep paralysis, the ghost would slowly come down until she could see every little detail of the ghost's skin.

Of course, she wasn't able to move or scream.

After she kept dreaming of the same thing, she finally spoke to her family about it.

Her mother decided to call a shaman to solve the problem.

The shaman came and after performing an exorcism, spoke up.

"She doesn't know where to go, so that's why she's appearing to you. So when she shows up again, point to the sky. That way, she'll be able to pass away."

So before she fell asleep, the friend kept on memorizing, 'Point to the sky, point to the sky...'

The ghost, as usual, came again that night.

She was very scared, but she remembered the shaman's words and lifted her hand.

But to point toward the sky was to point at the ghost.

She was so scared, that instead of pointing up, she pointed to the next room.

The ghost's gaze was now pointed not at her, but to the direction that she pointed in, and disappeared through the wall.

The friend finally relaxed and slept deeply...

It turns out that her father, who was in the room next to her, passed away while sleeping.

Annora Petrova

BREE, DON'T DELETE THIS! 

I know you hate me, but we were best friends once and I need you to read this. I think I'm in serious trouble and there's nothing you can do, but I need you to read this so you understand. 

I know we haven't talked since sectionals. It's been forever, but what happened to you wasn't my fault. At least it wasn't entirely my fault. I know everyone thinks it was, but I would never do anything to hurt you. 

This is going to sound crazy, but I need to tell you this so that someone knows. 

It started when we were in the 8th grade. It was the night before the Crystal Classic competition. I was at home and I couldn't sleep because I was so nervous about competing. Well, I got on the computer, just sorta surfing the web and stuff, but I couldn't concentrate on anything, I was just sitting there, so I googled myself. 

I never should have done that, Bree. At first it was all the usual stuff you find when you google yourself, then I found a link to a Wikipedia page about me. 

I thought our club made it or my dad or something, there wasn't much there, just some basic facts about skating, what city I lived in, but the thing that got me was that it said I won that year's Crystal Classic. 

I laughed, I thought for sure someone just did it to encourage me. I confronted my dad about it, but he denied it. 

When I won the competition the next day, I was so happy. That was the first competition I had ever won and it felt so good. Remember how hard I worked after that. That's when my parents hired Sergei to coach me. You know how much that must have cost. 

After that, I would check my page before every competition and it would always tell the result of how I placed. It said I would win the regionals at 15, and it all came true. After that, Sergei convinced my mom and dad that I had a real shot at the Olympics, that's when they pulled me from school. 

I skated every day, but I just wasn't progressing the way Sergei said I needed to if I wanted a shot at the Championship. I was working so hard and I was skating well, but still Sergei said it wasn't good enough. 

When the sectionals came. All I could think about was winning, so I did something I shouldn't have. Everyone was saying that you were the favorite and I felt like I had already lost the competition, so I made a Wikipedia account and tried to update my page to say that I was the winner. 

The thing is that after I tried to update the page, I checked it and all it said was: Annora Petrova is a selfish little bitch who is going to get what she deserves.” 

I broke down. That's why I looked so awful the next day. I was in a daze. I remember watching your routine and seeing your blade snap and the next thing I know, I was on the ground and my face was covered in blood from where the tip flew off and sliced my forehead. Then they told me it was my fault because I had your skates in my possession earlier. Bree, I honestly didn't do anything to your skates- I wanted to win, but I wouldn't do anything to hurt you. 

When they told me I was banned from any further competitions, everyone said that I got what I deserved. Nobody even asked for my side of the story.

I guess you heard that Sergei dropped me after that. He said I ruined him. No one would talk to me. 

Do you know what it's like to be ostracized by everyone? I couldn't even get ice time. 

And then the page got worse. Anytime I'd check it, it would say all these horrible things about me. I can't even tell you half of them, the language was so vile. I'd cry every time I read it, but I couldn't stop checking it. 

I knew I had to do something, so I made a complaint to Wikipedia. I even tried calling them, but no one there claimed to know anything about the page. 

I was home alone that Friday night and I decided to check it to see if it had been taken down. The page was still there, only this time it said: “Annora Petrova is a pathetic little orphan.” 

I freaked. I kept calling my parents to warn them, but every time I'd call, all I would hear was this horrible laughter on the other end. I must have called them a hundred times until I couldn't take the sound of the laughing anymore. 

After the accident, the police gave me their phones and there wasn't any record of my calls that night. 

I was so devastated. Before that I was so busy training all day and doing home school, I never realized just how alone I had been the whole time. I know you tried to reach out, but I was so depressed and angry I just shut everything out. 

Once I turned 18 and got the settlement money from the court, I came to Switzerland. 

I got to reinvent myself. My skating really took off. It's hasn't been a year and I feel like everything that happened was so long ago. 

That's why I shouldn't have done it, Bree. 

I'm writing you now from an old hotel outside of Prague. I'm auditioning for the Ice Circus tomorrow. I know it's the kind of thing we used to make fun of, but I really want this. I was feeling really nervous and out of an old habit I checked my page. 

It's so hard to say this, but when I checked the page to see if I'd get the job tomorrow, all it says is “Annora Petrova died friendless and alone,” and it has today's date listed as the date of my death. 

I'm sobbing so hard, I can barely type this. But I wanted you to know the truth. Please believe me, Bree. I attached a screen shot of the page so you'll believe me, it's all there just as I told you. 

I don't know what to do. I don't know anyone here and nobody speaks English. I keep refreshing the page. 

God, it's been forever, I keep refreshing but it still hasn't changed, I'm waiting for midnight, I don't know what to do, so I locked myself in my room. 

There's only a few minutes to midnight now. All I can do is refresh the page. I'm exhausted, but I can't stop. I'm afraid to leave the computer until I know what happens next. 

Time Capsule

I was accepted into a college inside a city.

My friend of 2 years and I decided to make and bury time capsules underneath a big pine tree that was behind our high school.

We promised one another to dig them up when we married each other. Contents inside each of our time capsules were to be a secret until then, and if we didn't marry each other, the capsules wouldn't be dug up.

After 1 year, the girlfriend died in a car crash.

And 10 years after, I proposed to my college girlfriend.

I told everything about my past to my fiance, without hiding anything.

She said she'll be happy for both herself and the dead girlfriend, and wanted to dig up the time capsules. 

I refused, but the fiance insisted. I guess she felt some jealously towards the previous girlfriend.

After our wedding, we went back to my home town and dug up the time capsules.

In my time capsule, I had put in a scarf that the previous girlfriend had made me.

My fiance looked uncomfortable, but dug up the girlfriend's time capsule.

There was a small, dark thing the size of a fist.

After examining it further, it had small hands and legs and looked like it had a head of a human.

Madoka

In 1997, in a small Japanese town, a girl named Madoka went missing.

That afternoon, her mother and she went to a park together to take a light walk, and when her mother had looked away for a few seconds, Madoka had disappeared.

When the mother had asked the kids Madoka was playing with...

"Hm? Madoka was playing with me in the sandbox just a few moments ago."

"I asked her to play on the slide with me, but she wanted to play in the sandbox, so I just came to the slides alone..."

Madoka's parents kept on searching the park.

When darkness came, the parents alerted the police. Since it was a small village, the response time was a little slow, but they started the searching process.

But they had no leads, and weeks passed. Then finally, a year passed.

Madoka was missing for one year, and the police told the parents that Madoka was most likely dead.

Her parents refused to accept it and went to a psychic who was famous for locating missing children.

The psychic went to the park where Madoka went missing, went to their house, touched Madoka's clothing and shoes, and after thinking for a while, he finally said,

"Madoka is alive."

At those words, her parents became excited and asked,

"Where is Madoka now?"

The psychic suddenly looked sad and replied,

"Madoka is living great. Madoka can see expensive furniture."

"She's not hungry either... Her stomach is full of expensive food."

Her mother let out a sigh of relief.

"Then where is Madoka? Please tell us!"

After some hesitation, the psychic said,

"She's everywhere around the world."

The parents didn't understand a few seconds and stood frozen, then collapsed on the floor and wept.

________________________________________________

Answer: ˙pǝʇsǝʌɹɐɥ ǝɹǝʍ suɐƃɹo ɹǝɥ puɐ pǝddɐupıʞ sɐʍ ɐʞopɐW

Rare Diseases : Dercum's Disease

Dercum's Disease

Dercum’s disease is an extremely rare disorder characterized by multiple, painful growths consisting of fatty tissue (lipomas). These growths mainly occur on the trunk, the upper arms and upper legs and are found just below the skin (subcutaneously). Pain associated with Dercum’s disease can often be severe. Pain may be caused by these growths pressing on nearby nerves. Dercum’s disease mainly occurs in adults and more women are affected than men. In some cases, affected individuals may also experience weight gain, depression, lethargy, and/or confusion. The exact cause of Dercum’s disease is unknown.

Symptoms of Dercum syndrome


The list of signs and symptoms mentioned in various sources for Dercum syndrome includes the 8 symptoms listed below: 

• Painful skin lumps 
• Asthenia 
• Headache 
• Absence of menstruation 
• Bruises 
• Reduced sweating 
• Reduced skin sensitivity 
• Fatty skin lumps

What causes Dercum disease?

The understanding of the cause and mechanism of Dercum disease remains unknown. The origin of the pain is obscure, and the disease is better known as a description of its symptoms rather than as a physiologic or metabolic process. The fatty deposits (lipomas) cause nerve compression and result in weakness and pain.

Some cases reported in the literature have suggested possible causes for Dercum disease, such as the use of corticosteroids, a disturbance of endocrine function, or a genetic cause since it seems to run in some families. Some researchers have suggested that Dercum disease is an autoimmune disorder (a condition that occurs when the body's immune system attacks normal, healthy body tissue). However, no single cause has been pinpointed.

What do we know about heredity and Dercum disease?

Dercum disease has been reported to occur in families, and in some of these cases it seems to be inherited as an autosomal dominant trait (this means that one out of a person's two copies of the gene, inherited from one parent, is altered). However, most reported cases of this condition are sporadic (the only case to occur in the family).

What is the treatment for Dercum disease?

There is no "cure" for Dercum disease. At the present time, treatment for this condition is symptomatic, meaning that it focuses on one symptom at a time rather than the whole condition. Depending on the person, options can include weight reduction, surgery for the most painful lipomas, and medications to control pain. Liposuction has been used in some cases.

Sources : 
http://health.howstuffworks.com/diseases-conditions/rare/10-rare-diseases3.htm
http://www.rightdiagnosis.com/d/dercum_syndrome/symptoms.htm
http://www.genome.gov/17516629

Rare Diseases : Paraneoplastic Neurologic Syndromes (PNS)

 Paraneoplastic Neurologic Syndromes (PNS)

Paraneoplastic neurologic syndromes (PNS) are a group of conditions that affect the nervous system (brain, spinal cord, nerves and/or muscles) in patients with cancer. The term "paraneoplastic" means that the neurological syndrome is not caused by the tumor itself, but by the immunological reactions that the tumor produces. It is believed that the body’s normal immunological system interprets the tumor as an invasion. When this occurs, the immunological system mounts an immune response, utilizing antibodies and lymphocytes to fight the tumor. The end result is that the patient’s own immune system can cause collateral damage to the nervous system, which can sometimes be severe. In many patients, the immune response can cause nervous system damage that far exceeds the damage done to the tumor. The effects of PNS can remit entirely, although there can also be permanent effects.

Epidemiology

PNS are rare diseases occurring in less than about 0.01% of patients with cancer. Only the Lambert-Eaton myasthenic syndrome is relatively frequent, occurring in about 1% of patients with small-cell lung cancer  

Classes : 

* Endocrine - can be related to : 

                          > Cushing`s Syndrome

                          > Syndrome of Inappropriate Anti-Diuretic Hormone

                          > Hypercalcemia

                          > Hypoglycemia

                          > Carcinoid Hormone

                          > Polycythemia 

                          > Hyperaldosteronism 

* Neurological - can be related to :

                    > Lambert-Eaton myasthenic syndrome (LEMS)
                    > Paraneoplastic cerebellar degeneration
                    > Encephalomyelitis
                    > Limbic encephalitis
                    > Brainstem encephalitis
                    >Paraneoplastic Opsoclonus (involving eye movement)-Myoclonus
                    > Anti-NMDA receptor encephalitis
                    > Polymyositis

Diagnosis and management

PNS may affect any part of the central and peripheral nervous system, the neuromuscular junction and muscle. They can be isolated or occur in association. An important point to keep in mind is that none of these disorders are specifically paraneoplastic, as each disorder can also occur in patients without cancer. The incidence of malignancy in patients with potential PNS varies depending on the disorder and ranging from 5 to 60%. In almost 80% of patients, the PNS antedates the diagnosis of cancer by several months to several years. Most tumors are diagnosed within 4–6 months. It is accepted that the risk of cancer development decreases significantly two years after diagnosing PNS and becomes very low after four years. All these data explain why it is often difficult to recognize a given neurological disorder as paraneoplastic.

Treatment

The different subtypes of PNS are defined by the presence or the absence of paraneoplastic antibodies and the type of antibodies. Management and treatment should be tailored to each subtype. For example, patients with SCLC and PCA have different course of the neurological disorder, response to treatment, tumor prognosis and cause of death, according to the presence or the absence of Hu-Ab. Patients with Ma2-Ab generally develop limbic and brainstem encephalitis with testis tumors, but patients with Ma2-Ab and additional antibodies directed against other Ma proteins develop additional cerebellar symptoms and have tumors other than testis neoplasms. The mean survival time for patients with SCLC and CV2-Ab is 2.5 times longer than for patients with the same cancer, similar neurological symptoms and Hu-Ab. All these data suggest that the type of the immunological stimulation against the tumor can determine a specific course of the neurological disorder and give information of whether the immunological response against the tumor is more or less effective.

However, PNS rarely improves with immunomodulatory treatment as in the majority of cases the neurological symptoms are due to neuronal damage. The early and non-reversible destruction of neural structures by the inflammatory process accounts for both the severity of most PNS and for the usual ineffectiveness of immunomodulatory treatments. The best chance of at least stabilizing the syndrome is to induce a complete response of the tumor. Although immunotherapy is rarely effective, the use of intravenous immunoglobulins, steroids or plasmapheresis is indicated because a few patients have been reported to improve with these treatments. Patients with Tr-Ab and Ma2-Ab and testicular cancer are more likely to improve than those with other antibodies.

Sources : 

http://health.howstuffworks.com/diseases-conditions/rare/10-rare-diseases2.htm

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/cgi/mesh/2011/MB_cgi?mode=&term=Nervous+system+paraneoplastic+syndromes

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1868710/

Rare Diseases : Progressive Multifocal Leukoencephalopathy (PML)

Progressive Multifocal Leukoencephalopathy (PML)

Progressive multifocal leukoencephalopathy (PML) is a neurological disorder characterized by destruction of the myelin, an oily substance that helps protect nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord, also known as central nervous system (CNS) white matter. It is caused by a virus called JC virus (JCV), named after the initials of the patient in whom it was first discovered. The virus is widespread, found in at least 85% of the general adult population. It remains inactive in healthy individuals and causes disease only when the immune system has been severely weakened, such as in people with HIV/AIDS, or hematological malignancies, and in organ transplant recipients who receive immuno- suppressant medications to avoid rejection of the transplanted organ. Altogether, PML occurs in approximately one in 200,000 people.

The term "progressive" in PML means that the disease continues to get worse and often leads to serious brain damage. The term "multifocal" means that JCV causes disease in multiple parts of the brain. However, it is possible for an individual with PML to have only one brain lesion instead of several lesions. The term "leukoencephalopathy" means that the disease affects mainly the white matter of the brain or myelin, although there are some rare cases in which the gray matter neurons is also involved.

Is there any treatment?

Currently, the best available therapy is reversal of the immune-deficient state, since there are no effective drugs that block virus infection without toxicity.  Reversal may be achieved by using plasma exchange to accelerate the removal of the therapeutic agents that put patients at risk for PML.  In the case of HIV-associated PML, immediately beginning anti-retroviral therapy will benefit most individuals.  Several new drugs that laboratory tests found effective against infection are being used in PML patients with special permission of the U.S. Food and Drug Administration.  Hexadecyloxypropyl-Cidofovir (CMX001) is currently being studied as a treatment option for JVC because of its ability to suppress JVC by inhibiting viral DNA replication.  

What is the prognosis?

In general, PML has a mortality rate of 30-50 percent in the first few months following diagnosis but depends on the severity of the underlying disease and treatment received.  Those who survive PML can be left with severe neurological disabilities.

What research is being done?

The National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke (NINDS) and other institutes of the National Institutes of Health (NIH) conduct research related to PML in laboratories at the NIH, and support additional research through grants to majorresearch institutions across the country.  Much of this research focuses on finding better ways to prevent, treat, and ultimately cure disorders such as PML.

Sources : 

Annals of Neurology (Author[s]: Mateen, F. J.; Muralidharan, R.; Carone, M.; Van De Beek, D.; Harrison, D. M.; Aksamit, A. J.; Gould, M. S.; Clifford, D. B. et al)

http://health.howstuffworks.com/diseases-conditions/rare/10-rare-diseases1.htm
http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/pml/pml.htm

Wedding Bells (a poem)

Wedding Bells 

She greets me with a sweet smile
a typical girl I knew away from some miles

A usual conversion I knew that would end
but in this time all I know is that this won't ever mend

Just like a star that fallen down from the sky
I know my dreams for her and me are too high

Instead of giving up in this tiring love
I go on and tried to risk all that I have

For her who was my blanket when I'm cold
now she's just a story that was never told

I just wish that she'd still look back and kiss me
cause she don't know how I miss the times were teasing

And now that she love somebody else
it hurts that soon I'll be hearing weeding bells

Cause now it hurts so much inside
the tears and pain that I can't hide

If all I can do is pretending
then it's easy to say her love for me is never ending

Maybe it was just not fate
but this heart of mine will still wait

Pain is inevitable I know
but these feelings for her I won't be tired to show

And now were on our separate ways
I'd still be here up to the end of days.

------

Originally sent to me by my ex-boyfriend, after the breakup, though I am not married yet. Too much drama, right. XD

Disclaimer : He may got this from another source, but I wasn`t aware. No copyright intended. 

Other Side

While brushing your teeth in the evening, you catch a glimpse of your wall mirror, covered in fingerprints. 

Annoyed, you grab a towel and rub at them. 

They remain. 

Upon closer inspection...

...you realize that they seem to be on the other side of the glass..

What is the illuminati?

Introduction

Many people request us what is the illuminati, their members and what they do, because most teens in this modern times use the word as some sort of magical groups controlling the world which includes all popular people (LOL). That's why we decided to write this article, to end the confusion of the real meaning of the Illuminati.

History

The Illuminati (plural of Latin illuminatus, "enlightened") is a name given to several groups, both real and fictitious. Historically the name refers to the Bavarian Illuminati, anEnlightenment-era secret society founded on May 1, 1776 to oppose superstition, prejudice, religious influence over public life, abuses of state power, and to support women's education and gender equality.

In subsequent use, "Illuminati" refers to various organizations claiming or purported to have unsubstantiated links to the original Bavarian Illuminati or similar secret societies, and often alleged to conspire to control world affairs by masterminding events and planting agents ingovernment and corporations to establish a New World Order and gain further political power and influence. Central to some of the most widely known and elaborate conspiracy theories, the Illuminati have been depicted as lurking in the shadows and pulling the strings and levers of power in dozens of novels, movies, television shows, comics, video games, and music videos.

Illuminati of Bravia

Adam Weishaupt founded the Illuminati of Bavaria on May 1, 1776 on the principles of his early training as a Jesuit. Originally called the Order of the Perfectibilists, "its professed object was, by the mutual assistance of its members, to attain the highest possible degree of morality and virtue, and to lay the foundation for the reformation of the world by the association of good men to oppose the progress of moral evil."

Illuminati Conspiracy

In the late 18th century, reactionary conspiracy theorists, such as Scottish physicist John Robison and French Jesuit priest Augustin Barruel, began speculating that the Illuminati survived their suppression and became the masterminds behind the French Revolution and the Reign of Terror.

During the interwar period of the 20th century, fascist propagandists, such as British revisionist historian Nesta Helen Webster and American socialite Edith Starr Miller, not only popularized the myth of an Illuminati conspiracy but claimed that it was a subversive secret society which serves the Jewish elites that supposedly propped up both finance capitalism and Soviet communism in order to divide and rule the world.

Freemasons

Freemasonry is one of the world's oldest secular fraternal organizations, which arose in late 16th- to early 17th-century Britain. Over the years a number of allegations and conspiracy theories have been directed towards Freemasonry, including the allegation that Freemasons have a hidden political agenda and are conspiring to bring about a New World Order, a world government organized according to Masonic principles and/or governed only by Freemasons

The esoteric nature of Masonic symbolism and rites led to Freemasons being first accused of secretly practicing Satanism in the late 18th century. The original allegation of a conspiracy within Freemasonry to subvert religions and governments in order to take over the world traces back to Scottish author John Robison, whose reactionary conspiracy theories crossed the Atlantic, and during the 19th century influenced outbreaks of Protestant anti-Masonry in the United States. In the 1890s, French writer Léo Taxil wrote a series of pamphlets and books, denouncing Freemasonry, charging their lodges with worshiping Lucifer as the Supreme Being. Despite the fact that Taxil admitted that his claims were all a hoax, they were and are believed and repeated by numerous conspiracy theorists, and had a huge influence on subsequent anti-Masonic claims about Freemasonry.

Real Members of the Illuminati

Adam Weishaupt (Professor)
Adolf Von Knigge (Baron)
Xavier von Zwack (Lawyer, Judge and Electoral Councillor)
Christoph Friedrich Nikolai (Bookseller)
Westenrieder (Professor)
Hertel (Canon)
Thomas Maria de Bassus (Baron)
Johann Simon Mayr (Composer)
Dietrich (Mayor of Strasbourg)
Johann J. C. Bode (Privy Councillor)
William Bon Buche (Baron)
Saint Germain de Constanzo (Compte De Marquis)
Ferdinand of Brunswick (Duke)
Ernst of Gotha (Duke)
Johann W. Goathe (Author)

The list above is just the short list, there are 67 names published 10 of them are professors, 13 nobles, 7 were in Church and 3 lawyers, the rest are government officials, merchants and military officers.

Sources:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Illuminati
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_World_Order_(conspiracy_theory)#Illuminati
http://freemasonry.bcy.ca/anti-masonry/stauffer.html
http://www.cephasministry.com/history_of_masonry_3.html
http://illuminati-order.com/
http://www.illuminati-order.org/index2.html
New England and Bavarian Illuminati (Author: Vernon Stauffer)
http://www.publiceye.org/apocalyptic/Dances_with_Devils_TOC.html
As it true what they say about freemasonry? (Author: Arturo De Hoyos)
http://www.webcitation.org/5w47O6KyR

Fireworks

Author: Tyrion Lannister

Date: December 21, 2012

In a few hours, the year would end. Not that I have a particular attachment to it. To be honest, I don’t really care.

Everywhere I look, there are kids that light firecrackers. Most of them don’t even know that they could lose several, if not all, of their fingers with just one miscalculation. But perhaps, they’re not that different from me. Ignorant. Naïve.

I found myself climbing the stairs of the overpass we used to frequent. Remember when I told you that I like climbing high places? This piece of concrete supported by a few pillars over the avenue near your place and decorated with green paint, stuck bubble gums, and broken liquor bottles, provide the best view of the sunset as well as the passing cars and people from down below. And at night, the hazy street lights give out a gloomy glow, illuminating what’s left of the day that passed. Somehow, it replicates the night I finally set everything straight and confessed my feelings to you.

Hmmm.

Do you remember when I told you about the origin of love? I know you never really liked reading stories and all, but I was happy that you listened, even if my storytelling was not as romantic as I intended it to be. Aristophanes, from Plato’s Symposium, set the story in the ancient times, when there were still three races: the children of the sun, who were like two males glued back to back; the children of the earth, who were like two conjoined females; and the children of the moon, who were a male and a female.

They were powerful creatures, as they could see all around them. They started to scale the heavens and set war against the gods. But Zeus, who doesn’t want to kill them and deprive himself of worship and offerings, launched his thunderbolts and cut them in half, separating them into two. Apollo then stitched the wound, but left a bit, the navel, which didn’t heal, in order to remind them of their treachery. They were then scattered around the earth, with a feeling of emptiness, until they find their other half.

When they finally find their other half, they become whole again. We call it love.

A few years ago, I found you. And I felt whole. People say it’s not like the movies. But for me, the wind singing a melody, the slow motion movements of the world around us, and the nervous beating of my heart when I see you, are all true. I was finally able to write again, with you as my muse.

We were able to get closer together. Even if we were studying in different universities, we would go home together and pass by the same dirty green overpass. Before we sleep, we would exchange text messages that, now that I think about it, perhaps I misunderstood. I found myself falling for you.

But everything changed when I finally confessed my feelings for you. I’m never really good at spoken words. I even rehearsed it a thousand times. I’m pretty sure I did a good job. And yet, your words pierced my soul whose very existence I doubt until that day. All of them, the wind singing a melody, the slow motion of the world, were taken away.

“There’s someone better than you.”

Emptiness.

I hated every waking hour for the reason that I was awake. All day I would stare in front of my laptop, hoping that my fingers would move, and waiting for words that would never come out. At night, I would stare at the oblivion that is the ceiling of my room, wasted by scattered bottles of beer and vodka, and intoxicated by the memory of who we were and what we could have been. I would sleep, with the thought that I could never be enough to replace your whoever.

Then I wake up again and curse myself, curse the scattered yellow papers and liquor bottles, curse my incompetence, curse the cobwebbed ceiling, and curse the world and my very existence.

The noise, the firecrackers, and the trumpets blown by the kids brought me up in this place. I look up at the sky and saw the orange glow of smoke and city lights. Every now and then, fireworks would envelope the night—sudden bursts of light that luminesce for only a fraction of a second, and fall into the darkness.

Perhaps Aristophanes was wrong in his metaphor on how love works. There are times when love makes you feel empty, even when you finally found your other half. Perhaps love is more similar to fireworks in the sky. They would radiate and light up the sky for a little time, and then they disappear into oblivion.

I found myself climbing the railing of the overpass. It wasn’t a particularly cold December 31, but I was high enough to feel the wind brush against my cheeks. Remember when I told you that I like climbing high places? It makes me feel superior, being above the cars and people passing by. It’s just sad that I couldn’t see the sun set from this overpass again. But I guess I’ll just settle for this night, amidst the hazy streetlights and the fireworks that you love, the only witnesses of my confession.

Do I have some final words? I don’t know. I love you.

I’m falling.

Hmmm.

 

And I thought my life would flash ahead of me before I die. But the only thing I see is your face. Your smile frozen in time as we sat over the freshly-mown grass of the amphitheater.

I’m falling.

Into the darkness.

Into oblivion.

Dysphoria

In the dark past before history began, humanity learned to fear. Huddled in the darkness on the plains of Africa, our earliest ancestors listened as lions stalked through the night around them. Deep in the caves of Europe, later men kept watch around their fires in the snowy winter, telling stories of horrors living hidden in the gloom outside. In the Middle East, just as the Sumerians began to scratch cuneiform on stone tablets, farmers sacrificed their livestock to demons they believed lived in the desert. 

Over time, we’ve learned to control our fears. To take them down to size. The lions in Africa were held back by fences of barbed plants, then hunted down with guns to near extinction. The horrors in the snowy winter of Europe were cast aside by the retreat of the glaciers and by the flaming torch of human progress. The demons living in the sand lost their sacrifices as time went forward.

In the twenty first century, we have the internet, we have half-mile high buildings, we have networks of roads spanning continents and air traffic going around the world. We look to horror stories, thrill rides, and late night television gore-fests to satisfy our psychological need for fear here in the western world. It’s almost like fear is a toy for us now; we only know true fear a few times in our adult lives.

But all of those terrifying stories our ancestors told around fires? All of the things they saw when they looked out into the blizzards of the ancient past? They aren’t gone. Where the lights don’t reach, where the shadows dominate, they still live. They crawl in their eternal crypts, dreaming horrible, dark dreams as the ages pass them by. Outside of the range of cell phones, away from all the commercial flight paths and shipping lanes, where no one can see, they build their kingdoms. Underground, they feast on whatever crawls by them. Nightmarish masses of twisted flesh and muscle, dark even against the darkness, they wait...

...because one day, the lights are going to go out again, and they aren’t ever going to come back on.

Genetic Memory

Many classic horror icons, such as Giger’s xenomorphs, Silent Hill’s Pyramid Head, and other disturbing creatures, share common characteristics. Pale skin, dark, sunken eyes, elongated faces, sharp teeth, and the like. These images inspire horror and revulsion in many, and with good reason. The characteristics shared by these faces are imprinted in the human mind.

Many things frighten humans instinctively. The fear is natural, and does not need to be reinforced in order to terrify. The fears are species-wide, stemming from dark times in the past when lightning could mean the burning of your tree home, thunder could be the approaching gallops of a stampede, predators could hide in darkness, and heights could make poor footing lethal.

The question you have to ask yourself is this:

What happened, deep in the hidden eras before history began, that could effect the entire human race so evenly as to give the entire species a deep, instinctual, and lasting fear of pale beings with dark, sunken eyes, razor sharp teeth, and elongated faces?

Just be careful out there...

Window

In the dark of night, I would advise you to not look out your window. When you look out dark windows, you see everything you have ever feared and everything you have ever dreaded. 

The impossible is possible and exists within the dark void. Nothing can be seen, but everything can be imagined. Ridiculous and surreal faces that look as if they know your deepest, darkest secrets; decaying heads of the damned that moan and grunt; and all your greatest fears do, in fact exist out there.

You are safe, though. It is merely a window. You can only see them, but they can't get you from your dimension.

BUT, there is one thing: You are VULNERABLE, out in the open.

What do I mean, you may ask?

Your reflection--it allows you to co-exist with them.

Just... DON'T BLINK.

Clap Clap

One day, a young married couple went hiking in the mountains. As the sun began to set, they realized that they were lost. The wife was getting worried, but her husband tried to calm her down and assured her that they would eventually find their way back to their car. However, after walking for hours, they still had no idea where they were. 

It was growing dark and the man and wife were getting desperate. They didn’t have a map or a compass with them and all of the trees looked the same. Just when they were about to give up hope, they came across an old cabin in a clearing.

The cabin looked as if it had seen better days. It was dilapidated and seemed like it hadn’t been used in a long time. Some of the windows were cracked and broken and a lot of the tiles had fallen off the roof. The husband knocked on the front door but there was no response. When he turned the handle, it slowly creaked open.

Inside, they found it was in a bad state of disrepair. There was very little furniture and the floor was covered in a thick layer of dust. As the couple cautiously looked around, they noticed a strange atmosphere and a peculiar musty smell. 

The walls were covered from floor to ceiling with graffiti. Written in red paint, the words, “DEATH! DEATH! DEATH! DEATH! DEATH!” were repeated over and over again.

The man and woman were unnerved. With a shaking hand, the husband reached out to touch the wall. He was horrified to find that the paint was not yet dry.

The couple were very frightened, but they had nowhere else to go. They knew that the mountain was dangerous at night and there were lots of wild animals prowling the woods. Despite the creepy writing on the walls, they decided to stay the night. 

Going upstairs, they found a moth-eaten mattress that was covered in stains. The husband and wife wrapped themselves in an old piece of carpet to keep warm and tried to make themselves as comfortable as possible under the circumstances. They lay down together on the mattress and eventually managed to fall asleep.

Sometime after midnight, the couple were awakened by a strange rustling noise. It sounded like someone or something was moving around outside the shack.

“Did you hear that?” asked his wife. “I think there’s somebody out there.”

Her husband listened for a while, but he didn’t hear anything. He got out of bed and walked over to the window. It was too dark outside to see anything. Opening the window, he stuck his head out.

“Who’s there?” he called nervously.

There was no answer.

He was about to go back to bed when his wife said, “Maybe it’s someone who can’t speak…”

The husband returned to the window and said, “Is there anybody out there? Clap once for YES and twice for NO.”

He strained his ears to listen. The stars twinkled in the night sky. The crickets were chirping loudly. 

All of a sudden, he heard a loud CLAP! 

The man turned to his wife and said in surprise, “You were right. There’s someone out there.”

He leaned out the window and his eyes scanned the darkness. he couldn’t make out anything in the pitch black. 

“Are you the owner of this cabin?” he asked.

CLAP! CLAP! 

“Are you a man?”

CLAP! CLAP! 

“You’re a woman, then?”

CLAP! CLAP! 

“Are you human?”

CLAP! CLAP! 

A chill ran down his spine. He swallowed hard and croaked, “Did you come here alone?”

CLAP! CLAP! 

“How many are with you? Clap once for each person…”

CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP!